?

Log in

Previous 10

Apr. 20th, 2014

REINTRODUCING MYSELF

Hello my dear Lovely's!
     It has been years since I have posted anything to my LiveJournal.  I think it's time for that to change.  With that said, I am going to reintroduce myself....  AGAIN!


     The last time I posted was June 3, 2010.  So many things have happened since then.  Let's start with only key events.


  • January 2011 - My Husband deployed.  I lost an extreme amount of weight.  We were able to Skype all the time since he wasn't Infantry.  When he figured out his Homecoming date, I told my Husband, "Be aware, I have become super skinny."  Keep in mind, he does know about my Eating Disorder.

  • August 2011 - My Husband came home and his first words when he saw me were, "Look at you!  You lost so much weight!"  He told me that he didn't take me seriously.

  • October 2011 - I dropped even more weight.  His work center became so worried that the FRO, Chaplain, and Chaplain's Assistant decided to give me a surprise Intervention at my home.  It was so embarrassing.  I did get a free Coffee out of the deal from my FRO at the time!  ;o)

  • November 2011 - This was a turning point.  The USMC Ball had come and gone.  Since I was a model, I loved being in pictures.  I took a picture with a rather new friend of mine.  When I saw the picture uploaded on my PC, I said out loud, "Oh my goodness!  I'm supposed to be the model.  I always outshine everyone in pictures.  She's outshining me!  I think it's time to start thinking about Inpatient."  I ended up getting a hold of the Dr. Phil show.  I would've been chosen, but the fact that I had Epilepsy cancelled me out.  They didn't have a Neurologist booked for that day.  I searched for Residential Hospitals.  None specifically fit my needs in Tricare East.  I found one that I really liked and got it approved.  The only problem was that they didn't approve of me due to my Epilepsy.  After a back and forth for 3 months, they reconsidered me.

  • February 2012 - I went Inpatient to River Oaks Eating Disorder Clinic in New Orleans, LA.  Scariest, saddest, worst day of my life; yet, it was life changing.

  • March 2012 - I was discharged.  I didn't want to leave.  I had the same feelings I did the first day I was admitted.  Scared and sad.  I wasn't ready to face the real world yet.  I was somewhat happy, but resented myself.

  • July 2012 - I began to have major Lapses.

  • January 2013 - Started online school to become a Certified Personal Trainer (still working on that).

  • March 2013 - Got into Female Body Competitions.

  • June 2013 - I began wearing Waist Cinchers (Corsets) to shrink my Waist because my Coach told me I had a 'wide waist'.

  • November 2013 - I began to Relapse....  Slowly, but surely.


This is where I stand now.  I'm scared, alone, happy, sad, worried, and I just don't give a damn.  I'm between the black and white area, which I hate.  I dislike being in this gray zone.  On the one hand, I can't believe I'm back here again.  I don't want to ruin what I've done in these past two years.  On the other hand, it's all I want because it's all I know.  I have had this since I was 3 years old.  It's all I know.  It protects me from pain and heartache.

I will keep you all updated.  I miss LJ and will continue to write.
Thank-You to all who read!
Stay Strong!
Much Luv!
xoxo
K.M.
           

Jun. 3rd, 2010

Oh, The Pain....


Why is it that someone you love so much is the one who hurts you the most?  So, my Daddy just called me for my birthday.  He sounded really annoyed, almost like he didn't want to talk to me.  I even asked him,
Me:"You sound annoyed, are you okay?"
Daddy: "Yea, yea, I'm fine."
What's with that?  It's like I was out of the way to call.  And now, I just want to cry.  It's times like this I'm lucky I have a loving stepfather who is more of a father then he ever will be!  Like the saying goes: Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.  I hate the fact that I say that, but it's so true.
 

On a lighter note, I was looking at pictures of me exactly a year ago.  I saw how thin and gorgeous I was.  I weighed 98.8 lbs.  Now, I weigh 106.0 lbs.  Just another thing to make me depressed!  So, I plan on losing 2 lbs every 2 weeks or 3 lbs every month.  Anyone in?  I'm dying to be beautiful again.  My thighs were gorgeous, my collar bones rocked, and UGH!  I AM GOING TO GET BACK THERE!  

Thank-you for all who read this.  I really appreciate it my dear Lovely's!  Venting really helps when you can't vent to some of the people you love.  I really should get on here more often, I don't know why I don't.  I love you all!

Stay Strong & Think Thin!
xoxo
Much Luv!
K.M.
 

Mar. 11th, 2010

Long Time, No Post


Hi My Dear Lovlies! 

It certainly has been such a long time since I've posted anything to LJ!  The last time I've posted anything was to starving_angels right when redbraclet just closed down.  So, how is everyone doing?  Is everyone staying strong?  I miss you hunnies!  Catch me up!

I'm doing crappy.  I had a good thing going for me last year.  I was 98 lbs and I let it all go when my husband came home from Iraq.  So I'm trying to get back down to that weight.  Right now, I'm currently 106.0 lbs at 5'6.  I want to be 101.6 lbs by late April, mid-May (hopefully sooner!)  I think this is very realistic considering my crazy terms in the past.  I have gotten a lot stronger now, and 5 lbs in 2 months isn't bad!


At the moment, this is what I look like....  Keep in mind, it's FAT, UGLY, and MORBIDLY OBESE!!!!

Much Luv!
xoxo
K.M.
<3

   

May. 25th, 2009

Today; Monday, May 25, 2009

Hi Lovely's!

I started a food diary again.  I realized that my weight kept fluctuating WAY too much, so I started one up today.  And so far, It helped....  A LOT!  I saw what I've been doing right and wrong. 

B: 4oz OJ - 55 cals
L: Coffee w/ Splenda - 0 cals
D: Lettuce - 0, Tuna - 120, Cheese - 55, Sunflower Kernals - 100, Croutons - 60, Dressing - 390 (This consisted of a Salad, UGH!)
S: 5 ExLax Laxies
Total Calories: 780 Calories
7 bottles of 16.9 oz of water
Activities: Layed out by the pool, 55 crunches, Stair Climbing, 45 minute walk, Yoga, Waist Twists, Side Bends, Squats, Leg Lifts

So....  I know what I did right today.  Dinner, I have to cut back on the cals at dinner time.  And the perfect thing is, I know EXACTLY where to cut back the cals!  :o)  Sorry I let you guys down today.  (sigh)  I did wake up weighing 101.4 lbs.  And when I weighed myself before my shower, I weighed 104.0 lbs.  That just won't do.  So I took 5 laxies around 8p.m.  I'm determined to lose weight.  And now that I know what is keeping my weight at 101 - 102 lbs in the morning, it's time to cut down!  :o)

How was everyone elses day?  I hope MUCH better than mine!  I would LOVE to get some feedback as well!  Much Luv!
Stay Strong My Luv's!
xoxo
K.M.

May. 16th, 2009

REIntroducing Myself....

Hi ALL!!!! 
It's been a SUPER long time since I've posted to LJ.  So for a quick catch up:

My Stats As Of Now:
Height: 5’5” 3/4
Lowest Weight: 93 lbs
Highest Weight: 124 lbs
Current Weight: 101.6 lbs
Goal Weight: 75 – 80 lbs

I now have a certain routine that I do EVERYDAY. I wake up, weigh in, and do 50 crunches to start my Metabolism for the day.  I drink an 8 oz glass of natural juice (Either Tropicana OJ or Juicy Juice) with mulitvitamins, a mug of Decaffeinated Coffee with Splenda, and drink 8-10 bottles of 16.9 oz of water every day.  I eat ONLY 1 meal a day which consists of a salad.  It consists of Romaine Lettuce, Sunflower Kernals, Croutons, a pinch of Parmesean Cheese, and Caesar Dressing.   
Around 5p.m., I go for a 45 minute walk.  Very Peaceful!  I do lots of exercises everyday.  At the end of each shower, I do Waist Twists, Side Bends, Squats, and Leg Lifts. 
I do lots of word puzzles and am on the computer 75% of my day.  It's very Relaxing for me!
I try to get at least 6-8 hours of sleep a night.  Sometimes, if I'm really drained and have nothing to do, I sneak in a nap, but my friends keep me busy, as well as my pets! 


This is my new routine.  I'm doing EXTREMELY well!  I hope everyone is doing wonderful also with achieving their goal! If anyone needs any support, help, or advice, I would love to help! I could use some myself at times! :o)  You can never have enough advice or tips! 
Please leave me a comment on how you are doing my Loves!



I love you all!
Much Luv!
xoxo
K.M.

Nov. 17th, 2008

Catching Up....

Hi Luvlies!!!!

It has been forev since I have been on!  Wow!  It's like my world just stopped with ANA/MIA.  Now that I'm back on track....  So is my life.  I got a job in September.  I have been working there a little over 2 months now.  I work in a restaurant as a Hostess, To Go Girl, and Buss Girl.  OMG!  You wouldn't believe some of the things the Kitchen Staff does!  They actually do drop food on the floor and pull out the 5 second rule!  Disgusting!!!!  Anyway, since I have started working there, I have lost about 10 lbs.  :o)

I know that I set picture goals a while ago.  Well, I didn't really stick to them.  They weren't really realistic I guess.  I realized that losing weight takes more time then I thought.  After I saw Emily's Intervention Episode, I just thought to myself, I have got to have a BMI of 14.3!!!!  I don't want to be a certain weight.  I want to be as low as I can go.  So here are over time goals.
Currently, I weigh 114.4 lbs  Gross and Morbidly Obese, right????  Starting in 2009....  In January, my main goal is to get to 110.  In March, my main goal is to get to 107.  In July, my main goal is to get to 102.  In November, I plan to be in the 90's.  Not sure where though.  I only know how the 100's work for me right now.  I know that it's harder when I get lower and that I lose more appetite which is good.  But here are some happenings....
In January, Hubby is leaving to go to Iraq.  March, Hubby and my 1 year anniversary.  Spending it alone.  :'-(  July, Hubby coming home.  November, Marine Corps Ball.  
I hope that I can make these goals more realistic than last time!  I'm sure I will since my husband will be gone, there will be NO food in this damn house if I have anything to do with it!!!!

As I am closing up....  I want to download some music.  I have to update my IPod.  I want to download some ANA/MIA songs.  Can someone give me a playlist or at least direct me to a site that has ANA/MIA music????

I hope that everyone is doing well!  Love ya's!!!!

Stay Strong and Think Thinspo!
xoxo
K.M.
 
  




  

 

Sep. 8th, 2008

Starting Of The ABC Diet....


Hi My Dear Lovelys!!!!  ;-D


As of Monday, September 8, 2008, I am officially starting The ABC Diet.  This past week, I have been preparing for this diet.  How can you prepare for this diet?  I asked myself the same question!!!!  I did sort of a practice/trial run.  We all know that there are diets that don't work for us.  Because of this, I was scared to try this diet.  But for some reason, I strictly stuck to this diet for a good reason.  IT IS BOOT CAMP!!!!  I had a  few screw ups, yes.  Everyone does.  But in Boot Camp, you are learning, yes?!  I look at this diet to teach me to get on track and shrink my stomach even more.  It did wonders during the practice/trial run!  I'm definitely looking forward to these next 50 days!  I will keep you up to date!!!!  


Much Luv!  <3
Stay Strong & Think Thin!
xoxo
~*K.M.
  

 

Jun. 9th, 2008

Writer's Block: Hell Hath No Fury

Who was the last person who really made you mad?
I was the last person to make me mad.  I can never stick to any one of my goals.  I always break half way through the day.  Then the next day I wake up and regret the day before.  I always say to myself that I'm going to stick with it this day, but what happens????  I always break half way through.  It's SO sad....

-xoxo-
K.M.
 

Jun. 7th, 2008

Just Joining This Group....

 Hi!  My name is Kay!  I'm 21 years of age.  I've been watching this community for a while.  Just a little shy on what to say!!!!  Well, I will say some about myself....
I was originally born in Harris, New York. I plan to move back to the City one day.  I would like to live in Manhattan on 5th Avenue! But right now I live in Daytona Beach in the Anatole Apartments. It is SO Gorgeous if you have never been here!

I'm a Vegan. Best way to stay healthy, beautiful, and skinny! I eat all Organic Fruits and Veggies. (Read 'Skinny Bitch', Google PETA! You will go Vegan for life!)

I'm also a Model. I love it! It's THE most competitive business in the entertainment industry. Since I'm 5'5", I'm a petite Model. This makes it especially hard on me to get jobs and find a decent agency.
I'm a Commercial, Print, and Catalogue Model.


More importantly, I'm Pro ANA / MIA. I have been ANA for.... well.... since I was at least 3 to 5! I have been MIA since I was 17. So both are a long time running.
My thinspirations are Jaslene Gonzalez, Nicole Richie, Mary Kate Olsen, Twiggy, Gemma Ward, and Kate Moss.


~*MY STATS:
Height: 5'5"
Highest Weight: 127 lbs
Lowest Weight: 92 lbs
Goal Weight: 83-92 lbs

~*MY MEASUREMENTS:
Bust: 32 in
Waist: 27 in
Hips: 33 in


I really don't know what I would do without the support of my ED Luv's!!!! I love ya's SO much! Thank-You! I love to give and recieve advice from fellow ANA/MIA's. Even if you just want to chat about life.... AIM me, MSN me, or YAHOO me!!!! Just add me, leave me a message letting me know you're from LJ, and I will accept!!!!
AIM: DitzyChicCharm
MSN: DitzyChicCharm@aol.com
YAHOO:
DitzyChic_87@yahoo.com 

Much Luv!
-xoxo-
K.M.
 

Mar. 13th, 2008

Future Goals

Hi My Dear Lovely's!!!!

I know that sometimes dates with goals don't happen. So instead of giving myself a date for such and such weight, I am going to give myself a date/month for a look!
As of now, here are my stats:


STATS:
H: 5'5" 3/4
H.W.: 125 lbs
L.W.: 93 lbs
C.W.: 121.8 lbs
G.W.: 92 lbs


Here are the photos and times of what I want to look like.

ME NOW: (The only recent photo of myself was me trying on my Wedding Dress! Sorry!):



WHAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE 1 WEEK FROM NOW:



WHAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE 1 1/2 WEEK FROM NOW:



WHAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE 2 WEEKS FROM NOW: (March 29 - The Wedding):



WHAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE BY JUNE 3: (My 21st Birthday):



WHAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A YEAR FROM NOW:

(STOMACH):


(COLLAR BONES):


(ARMS):


(LEGS):


(RIB CAGE):


(HIP BONES):




I think that I have realistic goals. What do you lovely's think of this? I know that some of these girls might be under 92 lbs, but they also might be over 5'5". So in the end, it all evens out! I know that I HAVE got to slow down on my eating!!!! But when I came up with this idea, it made me feel A WHOLE lot better!!!!

I hope that everyone is doing wonderfully! I will definitely keep everyone updated on how I'm doing!

Much Luv!
Stay Strong And Think Thin!
xoxo
K.M.

Previous 10